shut up and drive!
i’m writing this because i got inspired by my friend @gonfreecs’ suggestion to blog about my road stories. 🙂
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i started driving right after my college graduation (which was two years overdue, but that’s another story). i named my car “potpot” because i thought it was a cute name (and i still do). my family thought it was a weird name, but then got used to the name after a while, which i think was cute, too. when i was still a newbie driver, my mother always complained that i will give her a heart attack for driving too fast. and again, she got used to it. (okay, so this little history of my driving is a little boring, so i’m skipping the rest until i dunno when)..
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ANYWAY… below are some road memories potpot and i shared. and believe me, i have a LOT of them!!
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THE FIRST FLAT TIRE
it was a weeknight and i just got off from work. i decided to stop by a convenience store (ministop) near the office to buy my usual loot, cigs and coke. at the parking lot, as i was about to pull away, the security guard came to us (i was with someone) and said that i had a flat tire. i got out of the car to check it out and SHET, define flat tire!! the first thought that came to my mind was: buti na lang di ako dumeretso sa EDSA!!! then i did the most logical thing to do: i started calling our company drivers to ask for help (i told you, i don’t know anything about changing flat tires). i called up 3 drivers: Kuya A, Kuya B and Kuya P (un talaga tawag namin sa kanila). Kuya P was in Alabang. boo. Kuya A and Kuya B were available (thank you, Lord!!) so i asked them (more like, begged) to come over and help me.
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Kuya A was first on the scene. after he saw the flat tire he started asking the usual stuff: spare tire, tools, etc. the spare tire, it’s there. the problem was my trunk was stuffed with shoe boxes and some bags that it took a while before we got the tire out. then the tools, which up to now i don’t know how many exactly, what are they for, etc… so i’m not a mechanic, sue me. so anyway, apparently, the jack was nowhere to be found, and i swear to God i don’t remember seeing any. so Kuya A had to use one from his car. (the whole time i was still freaking out because i was feeling helpless and silly and still shocked because of that stupid flat tire)
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Kuya A was almost done changing the flat tire when Kuya B arrived. i know, it was little hilarious to see Kuya B coming up to us, all fresh and ready for some action, then seeing Kuya A all sweaty and obviously tired from all that work. haha! okay, so to cut to the chase: less than an hour and a backseat full of shoe boxes later, potpot is okay. 🙂
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and so this experience taught me two things: (1) a car’s trunk is not a closet space; and (2) I SERIOUSLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CHANGE A FLAT TIRE! (unfortunately, as of this writing, i still don’t know how.. i know, i am in serious trouble)
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SLEX PEE EMERGENCY
motorists from the south, remember that time when SLEX (Calamba-Alabang Bridge) was under construction and to say that traffic was bad was an understatement? well back then, i used to drive from batangas to makati on monday mornings. honestly, i don’t know how i managed to tolerate monday morning traffic (and come to think of it, waking up early!) but that’s kinda how it worked for me back then.
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one monday morning, i left home around before 6 in the morning and i calculated that i’d be in the office around 8:30-ish, which was the usual travel time given the traffic situation. (kids, this i tell you, if math is not your strongest subject in school, don’t bother with any calculation shit, because true to form, my calculation was a big FAIL. boo.)
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traffic was extremely bad that particular monday morning (again, it’s an understatement). the crawl started near southwoods exit (or was it susana heights, i cannot remember). all i can remember was my poor bladder that was about to burst when traffic started to slow down. as most of you may know, when you feel the need to pee, it’s usually tolerable until some time. how much time, i have no idea. all i know that my time was almost up and i was still stuck in traffic along SLEX. it was a misery. to hold one’s pee is i think the most miserable thing that can happen to anyone. especially when you’re stuck in traffic. (just thinking about it makes me cringe!) i tried everything just to hold it in: turned off the AC, moved restlessly, smoked one stick after another to calm my nerves, thought of possible options in case i cannot contain it anymore, concentrated so hard i can almost channel david blaine, blamed/cursed whoever initiated that stupid construction, my god i tried everything to keep my mind off my bladder.
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by the time i was in skyway, i was going mad. i was sweating buckets and i was ready to scream. it was maddening, i tell you. and up to this day, i have no idea how i was able to contain everything. after i paid the toll, i nearly shouted at the patrol guard if there’s a comfort room i could use. either he sensed the urgency in my voice or i just looked like i was about to kill someone if i don’t get to pee soon, he pointed at the skyway office and said i could use the john. by this time, my bladder was THISFUCKINGCLOSE to bursting. tangina talaga!!! i got out of the car, ran towards the office and into that little room and suddenly, i was in heaven. gahd, i cannot remember feeling so relieved, it was nearly orgasmic (KIDDING!)
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okay, i need to pee. gotta go!
JT
something fishy 